blood test saga. Ouch

[pagan queen]

Went to the hospital for the test and was told "take a number and wait your turn". Hmm good start. Then I saw the lady (I use the term loosely) who was acting as vampire today. She was huge, looked like a butcher and stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips, surveying her victims.

Now I don't know about you but getting blood from a stone would be easier than from my arm. When my turn came I walked into the butchers shop and sat down. Godzilla's younger sister grabbed my arm and pulled up my sleeve, then gave it a good slap. I told her my arms are a bit scarce when it comes to veins and she gave me a look that said not on my watch sweetheart.

She then tied a tornaque so tightly around my arm that my hand felt like it would explode. Brandishing a needle she said "sharp scratch" Now I knew that there is no way my arm was going to give up that blood without a fight so I was ready. She dug around for what felt like 3 days. Then she pulled out the needle and grabbed my other arm.

Same procedure ensued. Nothing, not a pin prick of blood. So she starts looking up and down my arm and spotted a juicy vein about half way up. I saw a glint in her eye and I swear she salivated. She slapped me again and came at me with yet another needle. Success she found some blood, I breathed a sigh of relief. But I dried up. "You're a tricky" one she said, "but I love a challenge"

She then started looking down at my feet. At this point I thought if I slam my head into the wall and make my nose bleed she can take it from there. She informed my she would try the back of my hand and if that didn't work I could choose my foot or my groin for the next location. Ooo such a choice.

By this time I was willing my body to give up and surrender to the desires of this mountain of a woman. She stuck the needle in my hand and the blood started to flow. A grin spread across he face as she said "Ahh here we go". She definitely salivated this time as I saw the saliva glisten in the corner of her mouth. "Only three more bottles to go" she crooned.

I was finally finished. I am sporting some beautiful purple bruises in various locations and am celebrating another successful donation to the blood dependant faction in our midst.

[Bindi]

That... was a tale well told lol

Sorry for your discomfort but you deffo have a way with words

[pagan queen]

So glad my suffering amuses you.

[Leah Marie]

Glad I'm not the only one this happens to. Didn't have all the appropriate blood tests when I was pregnant cause couldn't get enough out of me. Usually end up getting it out of my big toe!

You do have a way with words - ever thought about writing a novel?

[Anita Sayles]

Sorry that tale made me chuckle also

Well done for being brave

[lizzy k]

Good old NHS.

[wigwamman]

WELL,i used to be a BUTCHER,
i'm not huge and dont look like a woman,
but i did stand hands on hips looking for customers.
nothing like a good TAIL.

[16 shells]

Nice one..

[Alan1]

a savage beast
They used to struggle with me too but I was once told by a very long serving nurse that they always have difficulty with people who drink lots of tea and coffee as it makes you pee a lot and you become a bit dehydrated. I have no idea why that affects your ability to give up blood but anyway she said drink a lot of water about 2 hours before you get your bloods taken. I was not a tea or coffee drinker but anyway I drink the water 2 hours before hand and it seems to work, they have no problem now at all and I have to get it done every week ATM

[egyptiandan64]

I feel for you Wendy but that was some damned good writing I could feel Godzilla drooling on me as I read

Danny