haven't been on here as much lately, but wanted to talk to someone

[alicia]

hi every one, ive not been on here alot lately, i still feel like ive 'let the side down' by selling bobby and tiny and a few months back
and not only that, but i rehomed my rats also
i felt i had to do it, i didnt have a job and im paying around £30 (college EMA) a week for driving lessons so i couldnt even afford to buy food for them let alone clean bedding and any vet bills.

then things started getting a bit better,i became single again which was the best decision ever! also i got a job the other day yayy, now i can afford to keep tinsel and brandy.

anyway... as everything was getting better.... i met up with an old friend the other day. me and him used to be good friends about 3 years ago so we started hanging out. the first time we went out was a bit strange, he made me feel very uncomfortable. so the next day i said i couldnt see him, that evening instead of seeing him i took my dog for a walk around the woods at the back of my house. i was out there for about an hour and as i came home and walked through the back doors guess who was sitting in my living room!! this boy. he had knocked at the door. realised that the dog wasnt barking so knew i must have taken him out for a walk. he had then gone looking for me around the woods for 45 minutes!! he didnt find me so then came back to my house and knocked again. this time my mum was in and let him in. he then waited for me another 15 minutes in my house!! even though i had already said no to coming out earlier that day!!
last night he did the same thing, only my mum didnt let him in.
what do i do? i thought he was nice, but surely thats a bit strange? almost stalker like?
everything keeps going so down hill lately

im sorry for this massive essay, its just im home alone an wanted to talk to someone.
xxx

[Star]

Don't worry....it will be ok

Maybe if you just keep telling him your busy when he calls....he will soon get the message.....It sounds like he has a crush...after a few weeks of not meeting up, he should move on.

Make sure you let your mum know, not to let him in next time he calls round (if he does)

I am glad to hear you got a new job and things will keep looking up for you

[ME SHELL]

Oh hun, I am so sorry to hear your bad news. I know exactly how you feel. I too am thinking of rehoming Torty. I love her to bits but really can't afford the electric bills and I am so worried that she may get ill again and I just couldn't afford the vet bills. I am also struggling to find time for her. My hubby feeds her and bathes her as I am rarely here, with walking to and from work and working. I am hoping that things will look up and I can keep her. So I know what you must have been going through, we all know how you love your animals and it must have been a very hard decision to rehome them.

It does sound like he is stalking you. You need to sit down with him and also your mum and explain that you don't want to see him again, and his coming to the house is slightly freaking you out.

Chin up love, my saying is what ever don't kill us makes us stronger. Things will eventually take a turn for the better, you'll see xxx

[alicia]

thanks you two,
meshell im sorry to hear your situation with Torty, its so hard havin to make a decision like that

i don't know what to do about this boy, it wouldnt surprise me if he sat outside my house and waited to catch me out! or even to try an see my through my bedroom window.
i should have known, all the signs have been there a few months back when he kept asking me on a date. i must have told him "NO" about 30 but he still didnt give up.
my mums even starting to think hes a bit strange, and she used to think he was alright.
im scared to be in all on my own just encase he comes to my house and sees me through the window or something xxxx

[swad1000]

Tell him you are going out with a very large and possessive boyfriend and he wouldn't like him coming round. If he doesn't believe you I will come and shoot him in the face and that should convince him.

I will then have to stalk you instead obviously.

More seriously I would talk to your mum so she knows not to make him welcome if he calls, and just ignore him hopefully he will get the message, if you're home alone and he calls and you feel worried, call the police thats what they are there for.

[alicia]

lol thanks Carl, i might take you up on that offer.

i will talk to my mum about it, and tell her not to let him in or anything. i feel like i cant even take the dog out for a walk with out him knowing where i am!
xxx

[paulo peach]

it doesnt sound too bad as long as he isnt the 'dangerous' sort.

Maybe make sure your mum always asks who is calling, on the phone, and make sure you're mum knows that you're 'not in' whenever he calls. The firmer she is, the better it'll be for you i'd imagine.

Us boys sometimes dont know the word NO unless its underlined and highlighted with a big pink marker.

[Evie]

Hi Alice - dont give this lad an inch - you need to get him out of your life now - otherwise he will become even more obsessive. I think Carls idea is a good one.

When I was "in my younger days" many years ago - I couldn't be straight with guys - although I didn't want to see them anymore I really found it hard to say " Bog Off" it used to get me into all sorts of trouble as I would start seeing someone else with the old one still in tow !!!! I used to call it "overlapping" but I should have just firm about it before I moved on.

You shouldn't feel you have let anyone down by getting your leopards rehomed - they are a big committment and do cost on electric and heating bills. I think we all find it hard at times - it's just whether you can see the light at the end of it all.

[alicia]

thanks anne, i do find it really hard telling people no, but its even more difficult as we used to be good friends a few years back.
i dont know whats happened to make him go like this.

i can understand boys maybe not understanding us girls if we beat around the bush to say no, but i have been really blunt with him in the past because hes kept on and on untill ive just had enough and get a bit annoyed.
surely if any normal boy asked me out and i said no soo many times they would give up? or if i said to any other person 'sorry im not coming out today' they wouldnt come round anyway, to see im not in and then go looking for me? it just seems a bit strange? xxx

[anna m]

He does seem strange
Perhaps you could write him one letter saying goodbye and you need some space now
Don't feel bad about saying No to him if you see him

My ex stalked me and I was living with my new boyfriend at the time
We solved it by moving then he got my phone number so we moved again