Pushy Coach

[emma_mcraf]

My kids have been learning how to play golf for a few years, attending hourly lessons 2-3 Saturday mornings a month. They've enjoyed learning about the grip, posture, position, rules and etiquette, etc, but only to be able to play socially and mainly with my hubby.
The lesson structure all changed a while back and the kids are now streamed into groups, depending on age and ability, which is fine, but the pro-coach has started getting serious. The lessons now last for 2-3 hours and are three times the price too! He wants them all to have club membership (ridiculously expensive!) and play in tournaments and competitions, which is not what the kids want to do. I told him this a fortnight ago on the phone and explained they literally want lessons so they can learn how to play properly so they can enjoy a round of golf socially with family and friends and take this into adulthood.
The message doesn't seem to have gone in because today he banged on about memberships and even a possible scholarship for my daughter because she's pretty good. This is all very well but the kids don't want that. They don't want to play competitively; they just want to play for fun and not be too serious about it.
I appreciate that as the pro, he needs to get future memberships for the club but I'm fuming that I told him no on the phone and yet he blatantly ignored me and petitioned my hubby about membership today.
I'm a straight talking person and I get my point across. Hubby is probably a little more diplomatic than I am . So I'm annoyed as I feel the pro has ignored the 'little lady' at home and tried to get membership and more course time out of hubby. I was all for phoning him up and having a set-to, especially as I have a couple of other things I need to pick him up on, but although I'd get self-satisfaction out of it, I'd probably tell him to stick the kids lessons where the sun don't shine and that wouldn't really be very helpful!

Hubby will set him straight next week when they go for their lessons but I'm not happy with that. Am I just being a sanctimonious and argumentative cow?

[becciwales]

No I don't think you're being sanctimonious or an argumentative cow, but I'm one of those at times too!! I hate it when people do that.
The window company did it to me the other day, I need a new pane in my lounge window as the seal has gone, they had to speak to me and my hubby, it was to replace the whole window and front door, but they couldn't give me a price, they "needed Mr and Mrs to be at home". David would just agree a price or say no we'll go elsewhere, he's not bothered about style of window!
I wouldn't stop the kids lessons though if they enjoy it, perhaps better to let hubby sort it if that could happen

[alley cat]

Originally Posted by emma_mcraf

Hubby will set him straight next week when they go for their lessons but I'm not happy with that. Am I just being a sanctimonious and argumentative cow?

Probably you sound just like me!!

It is more than likely that sales of the membership will secure his job and he may be getting presure to push them, or he may just be more ambitious than some!
He could seriously want your daughter to go further if she is good because all success will reflect on him and his name with regard to her coaching, i suppose you cant blame him for trying! (or maybe he just muddled who he had already spoken to, no, I am being too nice now!)

[LonesomeGeorge]

From what you've said it seems quite apparent that the coach is quite money driven! It might be a situation where he needs you more than you need him, maybe he needs re-installing in his brain that the customer is always right!

[Suze65]

No Emma your not a sancty something or argu whatsit , sounds like pressure from above, money making stuff. I wouldn't put up with it, I don't put up with any crap these days , must a middle aged thing

[emma_mcraf]

Originally Posted by becciwales

No I don't think you're being sanctimonious or an argumentative cow, but I'm one of those at times too!! I hate it when people do that.
The window company did it to me the other day, I need a new pane in my lounge window as the seal has gone, they had to speak to me and my hubby, it was to replace the whole window and front door, but they couldn't give me a price, they "needed Mr and Mrs to be at home". David would just agree a price or say no we'll go elsewhere, he's not bothered about style of window!
I wouldn't stop the kids lessons though if they enjoy it, perhaps better to let hubby sort it if that could happen

I don't want to stop the kids lessons as they enjoy them. I just want the coach to know he can't keep pushing when he's already been told no.

Originally Posted by alley cat

Probably you sound just like me!!

It is more than likely that sales of the membership will secure his job and he may be getting presure to push them, or he may just be more ambitious than some!
He could seriously want your daughter to go further if she is good because all success will reflect on him and his name with regard to her coaching, i suppose you cant blame him for trying! (or maybe he just muddled who he had already spoken to, no, I am being too nice now!)

Yep, definitely not muddled who he'd spoken to.
I even explained to him on the phone that my eldest son will be doing weekends on call as from September and so won't be playing much at all as he won't have the spare time, but nothing seems to have sinked in. It's as if they don't want to the kids having lessons if they're not going to join the club and represent them. Everything all suddenly changed when they altered the lessons. Until then, everything was fine and everyone was happy.

Originally Posted by LonesomeGeorge

From what you've said it seems quite apparent that the coach is quite money driven! It might be a situation where he needs you more than you need him, maybe he needs re-installing in his brain that the customer is always right!

Quite - that's why I wanted to ring him, so he knew I meant what I said!

Originally Posted by mediterraneansuze

No Emma your not a sancty something or argu whatsit , sounds like pressure from above, money making stuff. I wouldn't put up with it, I don't put up with any crap these days , must a middle aged thing

Thanks Suze. The coach has been a bit of an idiot recently - getting funny about what the kids wear for their lessons, questioning my daughter on what her siblings do in their spare time, not allowing her to take a shot from a bunker when the other kids in her group did, etc.
They all have the right equipment, the boys follow the dress code, they all have golf shoes - he's just being ridiculously picky since I told him no to memberships and competitions on the phone.
There was also an incident where he humiliated another child in front of the group. The said child (not one of mine!!) is an ignorant little so and so, but even so, he made him get on his knees, told him to pick up a ball and then told him to put it in his mouth. The kid refused but it made me wonder how far the coach actually would have taken it.

I think it's an ageing club as our town is known as 'God's waiting room' so he obviously needs fresh blood coming into the club, which I fully understand, but when he was told no by me, I was fuming that he still pressed the issue.
He was very short with me on the phone when I explained that the kids all have other interests and we can't make a commitment to the golf club. Not only that, it's very expensive! But the cost isn't the reason, it's simply a case of them wanting junior lessons and nothing more.
I'm sure when they're adults and have a bit more time and money on their hands, they'll play more golf, but it won't necessarily be at that club as we have lots about locally, and they certainly wouldn't play competitively. It would just be a social round. My hubby plays golf at loads of different clubs.

I don't like putting up with any crap either Suze. I can be polite when I put my point across, but then when something like this happens I get angry!

[Suze65]

He sounds like a right little s#*t to me! I think I would tell him to shove his golf clubs where the sun dont shine

[Merlin M]

Is it possible to take this above his head? He sounds horrid, and also like someone who should not be teaching kids, if a school teacher did that to a kid (get them to put a dirty golf ball in their mouth) they would get sacked!

[alley cat]

Originally Posted by mediterraneansuze

He sounds like a right little s#*t to me! I think I would tell him to shove his golf clubs where the sun dont shine

Ditto

Could the kids move to a different club? I wouldnt want that person teaching mine if he treats the kids in such a demeaning way.

[emma_mcraf]

Originally Posted by mediterraneansuze

He sounds like a right little s#*t to me! I think I would tell him to shove his golf clubs where the sun dont shine

That's what I probably would have said if I'd phoned him yesterday!!

Originally Posted by Merlin M

Is it possible to take this above his head? He sounds horrid, and also like someone who should not be teaching kids, if a school teacher did that to a kid (get them to put a dirty golf ball in their mouth) they would get sacked!

I'm not sure, other than the chairman of the club and they don't want to go upsetting their pro as he brings in money from the lessons and running the pro shop. I will make sure he knows I'm not happy and I'm writing down any complaints I hear about. Problem is, the kids like playing there and having their lessons and I don't want him making life difficult for them.
Luckily the little sod who he told to put the ball in his mouth refused, but the whole thing was done to humiliate him in front of the other kids. The pro even pointed out loudly that the boy's flies were undone, again to humiliate him. I agree that kids that don't listen or pay attention should be corrected but not like that!! If it had have been my kid, the pro would have found me forcing a ball into his mouth!!!

Originally Posted by alley cat

Ditto

Could the kids move to a different club? I wouldnt want that person teaching mine if he treats the kids in such a demeaning way.

I'm on the case! I'd rather pay for a 4:1 lesson for just the kids and the assistant pro, but hubby isn't as keen.
He just wants to tell the pro next week that it's lessons and no more and carry on as we are, but when I get the bit between my teeth, I can't let go and I want to make my point.

A lot of my anxiety harps back to when my second son was eight and he was pushed off the rugby pitch by his drunken coach. All hell let loose for a number of months, the rugby club tried burying the whole thing under the carpet as the coach didn't have a valid CRB and shouldn't have been coaching, plus he was an alcoholic and put a LOT of money behind the bar. My husband had attended that club since he was a child, his dad was the chairman until he died and we were very let down by them. We had no choice but to get the RFU to investigate. It all came to a climax when I brought the incident up in front of 200 parents at the AGM and was told it wasn't the place to do so. Most of those parents had no idea what had happened and the club didn't want them knowing either. My shouting match with the chairman led to my ban from the club. It wasn't an issue - the boys weren't going back for another season anyway.
I just seem to always find myself in these situations......