Shelled Warriors Forums
 

Go Back   Shelled Warriors Forums > Off Topic > General Discussion

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 27-09-2014, 01:03 AM   #1
egyptiandan64
Super Moderator
Adult
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 14,171
Default A Cashier's Rant

Thought this was funny

As a cashier in a grocery store, I have a few things to say to my darling customers.


- If I'm holding my hand out for change, do not put it on the counter, you t**t.

- Parents: Under no circumstances will you allow your crotch-spawn to play tag, run around shrieking, scan items, poke me, get behind my counter, rip decorations down, scream and wail for 40 minutes or climb all over displays in my grocery store.

Your sproglets are not "Omg, so cute. Neko kawaii. ^_^". They are irritating little demons, who disturb the staff and the other customers. If your child cannot behave themselves in public, leave them at home.

- This grocery store does not have those little plastic things used to divide groceries. I wish we did, but we don't. In light of this, please do not mix your groceries with someone else's, then get mad at me when I ring an item or two up on their bill. Either wait a f****** minute before putting your groceries on the damn counter, or tell me where your order starts and the other person's ends. Believe it or not, I'm not psychic.

- Yes, the item won't scan. No, it's not free. Please curl up and die.

- If there is no one at the cash, chances are you aren't going to be served. Stacking your groceries on the counter will not make a cashier materialize. Also, do not glance at the closed sign, then walk around it, plop your groceries on my counter and get huffy when I explain to you that I'm being taken off and I can't help you. Come on, I have a bag slung over my shoulder and there's a manager punching stuff into the cash, getting my report out. Are you that f****** dense/rude?

- Get the f****** olives weighed at the deli. There's two HUGE signs on the olive cart that says to do so. Unless you're a) FIVE or b) illiterate, you have NO EXCUSE. You're wasting my time, your time, and the time of the poor produce guy/bag boy that has to run back to the deli and weigh your stuff.

- Stop unloading ungodly amounts of change on me, I'm not a bank and there's a HUGE line of people behind you. I don't have the time to count out your $16 in dimes (yes, this actually happened).

- Stop flirting with me. It's nasty, seeing as I'm a minor and you're a geriatric old fart.

- My store provides a "Kid's Zone". This consists of a huge TV screen that plays Veggie Tales (which is so wrong, seeing as it's blatant religious propaganda...) for your sprog's enjoyment. Our "Kid's Zone" is currently out of order. There is a nice sign up, and a cart blocking the entrance. Therefore, do NOT push it aside and let your kids run around wrecking stuff while you wander off. Douche.

- Do not poo in my store. On the floor. By the front door.

- Do NOT tell me how to do my job. I work here, you don't. Therefore, shut the f*** up.

- I may be a cashier working for just barely above minimum wage, but I am not the scum on the bottom of your shoe. Chances are, I'm much more intelligent than you. If I didn't need the money for university, I wouldn't be here.

- The appropriate answer to "Hi! How are you today?" is not:
1. *grunt*
2. *silence*
3. *glare of doom*
4. *checking me out*
5. Terrible!

I really don't care how you are today. Just say "I'm fine, how are you?". That's all that's required. Really. I promise.

- Don't be anal about the way I bag your groceries. I'm not squishing anything, I swear.

- When I lean over to look for a code don't go "Those are apples". No s*** they're apples. Duuuuuh.

- Don't identify each item in a patronizing manner when loading your stuff on my counter. I know what the stuff is, I ring it in a billion times a day.

- When I hold my hand out for a pack of sausages I know you have in your hand, don't yank it away then giggle when I go for it again. You're not funny, you're a full grown man! Augh!

- Stop paying for tiny orders with $100 bills! Especially when I start my shift. Unless you want the change in fives and coins, don't do it!

Danny
__________________

Last edited by egyptiandan64; 27-09-2014 at 01:08 AM.
egyptiandan64 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27-09-2014, 01:19 AM   #2
yuna1971
Senior Member
Adult
 
yuna1971's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Bristol
Posts: 7,157
Default

Good grief an even longer post than the last.....xx
__________________
Rach

Lily's Movie.
http://www.shelledwarriors.co.uk/for...ad.php?t=68025
yuna1971 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27-09-2014, 01:34 AM   #3
egyptiandan64
Super Moderator
Adult
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 14,171
Default

But there are lots of spaces Rach

Danny
__________________
egyptiandan64 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27-09-2014, 08:08 AM   #4
Merlin M
Senior Member
Adult
 
Merlin M's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Edinburgh
Posts: 4,186
Default

Hehe and its funny!
__________________
1:1:1 Horsfields (Misha, Amber and Teabag)
1:0:0 Dog: Rocco, Rottweiler cross
1 husband (Russ)
Merlin M is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27-09-2014, 09:49 AM   #5
Catwoman63
Senior Member
Adult
 
Catwoman63's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 6,739
Default

That was funny Danny, I would hate to be a cashier at a large supermarket lol x
__________________
BEV XXX

0.3.0 - T Horsfieldii (Xena, Zelda & Lilly)
2.2.0 - TG Terrestris (Zeus, Astreus / Zagreus & Alexia)
1.2.0 - Zebra Finches (Gunner / Bonnie & May)
0.1.0 - SBT (Hazel)
1.0.0 - FBD (Ted)
Catwoman63 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27-09-2014, 04:40 PM   #6
Suze65
Senior Member
Adult
 
Suze65's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wiltshire
Posts: 6,769
Default

That one was too long for me
__________________
Suze.

3 THB, Sammy, Jemima, & Phoebe
7 Marginated, Tabitha, Ptolome, Tatiana, Noah,Lottey, Lulu & Poppy
1 TGG (Emma) RIP Feb 2012
Suze65 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27-09-2014, 06:22 PM   #7
emma_mcraf
Senior Member
Adult
 
emma_mcraf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Devon
Posts: 11,364
Default

I like that one and can imagine what a nightmare of a job it must be. The noise and bustle of being a cashier would do my head in!
__________________
Emma

Testudo Hermanni 5.12.2:Theo, Tamara, Tabitha, Harriet, Isabelle, Clara, Oscar, Hugo, Oliver, Florence, Arabella, Esmé, Aurelia, Felicia, Claudia, Atticus, Celestia, Amaris, Tristan and Clementine
Budgies: Jasper, Ivo, Otis, Henry, Louie and Luca
Doggies: 1.1.0 Chester and Lottie

emma_mcraf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27-09-2014, 11:26 PM   #8
pagan queen
Senior Member
Adult
 
pagan queen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Kent
Posts: 6,073
Default

I did my stint in Sketchley dry cleaners. It was a hell job with people demanding their clothes back without a ticket and expecting us to remember them and know what their clothes looked like. It would take us a while to track down their order by their name but they just couldn't wait.
__________________
1.0.1 TG Ibera
1.0.0 Chinese Frise dog
0.1.0 African Grey Parrot
0.1.0 Hahns Macaw
0.1.0 Pearly Conure
0.2.0 Guinea Pigs
0.2.0 Chickens
1.0.0 Bearded Dragon
7.4.0 Budgies
1.1.0 Cockatiels
1.3 Kids
1 Husband
pagan queen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28-09-2014, 05:25 PM   #9
Emilyjayne2012
Member
Hatchling
 
Emilyjayne2012's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Essex
Posts: 674
Default

I worked on the checkouts in Asda .... And this is so true. Brought back all the memories lol
__________________
Emily & ....

Emilyjayne2012 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-09-2014, 11:55 AM   #10
Pussygalore
Senior Member
Adult
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Cambridge
Posts: 6,479
Default

I always used to do cashier work and to be honest loved the work including the contact with people which I miss now, mostly small village shops or garages and the people especially the elderly loved a chat. I think the shop staff are often the only people they sometimes see, the children could be a nightmare especially those with parents that can't seem to tell them of or control them, they'd be touching everything even tasting things and mum would think it ok and get angry if I said anything. I didn't like it when it was quite so much prefered the busy days, I once worked for Fads in Fleet and it was so quite through the week I never knew how the place survived, one day after cashing up we'd took £20 the whole day, I had more float than takings.
Pussygalore is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 02:52 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.