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Old 09-01-2019, 02:47 PM   #111
emma_mcraf
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Well if they don’t hurry up and sort you out, Emma can be chief surgeon, I’ll do anaesthetics ( my father in law was an anaesthetist, not that that means I know anything) and the others can be theatre assistants and we will need a recovery nurse don’t worry Gordon
Anyone got a copy of A Dummies Guide to Gallbladder Surgery?
Don’t worry if not, I’ll cobble together some diagrams from the internet. I have A-level Biology so I’m sure I must remember some of it....

You’d be in really safe hands, Gordon! We might even get it done quicker than the NHS and Suze is practically a qualified anaesthetist seeing as her dad was one. Failing that, she’ll just dose you up on strong brandy (cherry brandy would do and I’m sure Clare could help there) and Sandy will hold a piece of wood between your teeth. I’m sure Mary would love to be recovery nurse!

I can get my hands on scrubs, scalpels, gloves, disinfectant...all the necessaries.
When would you like us to book you in?
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Old 09-01-2019, 03:01 PM   #112
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Originally Posted by emma_mcraf View Post
Anyone got a copy of A Dummies Guide to Gallbladder Surgery?
Don’t worry if not, I’ll cobble together some diagrams from the internet. I have A-level Biology so I’m sure I must remember some of it....

You’d be in really safe hands, Gordon! We might even get it done quicker than the NHS and Suze is practically a qualified anaesthetist seeing as her dad was one. Failing that, she’ll just dose you up on strong brandy (cherry brandy would do and I’m sure Clare could help there) and Sandy will hold a piece of wood between your teeth. I’m sure Mary would love to be recovery nurse!

I can get my hands on scrubs, scalpels, gloves, disinfectant...all the necessaries.
When would you like us to book you in?
Which one of you is administering the enema?
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Old 09-01-2019, 03:33 PM   #113
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Which one of you is administering the enema?
Are you volunteering, Clare? You haven’t got a role yet...
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Testudo Hermanni 5.12.2:Theo, Tamara, Tabitha, Harriet, Isabelle, Clara, Oscar, Hugo, Oliver, Florence, Arabella, Esmé, Aurelia, Felicia, Claudia, Atticus, Celestia, Amaris, Tristan and Clementine
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Old 09-01-2019, 05:21 PM   #114
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Originally Posted by emma_mcraf View Post
Anyone got a copy of A Dummies Guide to Gallbladder Surgery?
Don’t worry if not, I’ll cobble together some diagrams from the internet. I have A-level Biology so I’m sure I must remember some of it....

You’d be in really safe hands, Gordon! We might even get it done quicker than the NHS and Suze is practically a qualified anaesthetist seeing as her dad was one. Failing that, she’ll just dose you up on strong brandy (cherry brandy would do and I’m sure Clare could help there) and Sandy will hold a piece of wood between your teeth. I’m sure Mary would love to be recovery nurse!

I can get my hands on scrubs, scalpels, gloves, disinfectant...all the necessaries.
When would you like us to book you in?
Sounds like a plan, jobs a goodun. I could borrow my nieces copy of greys anatomy, she’s nearly a doctor I’ll check my diary
You could probably buy all the equipment on Amazon!
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Old 09-01-2019, 06:02 PM   #115
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Originally Posted by emma_mcraf View Post
Anyone got a copy of A Dummies Guide to Gallbladder Surgery?
Don’t worry if not, I’ll cobble together some diagrams from the internet. I have A-level Biology so I’m sure I must remember some of it....

You’d be in really safe hands, Gordon! We might even get it done quicker than the NHS and Suze is practically a qualified anaesthetist seeing as her dad was one. Failing that, she’ll just dose you up on strong brandy (cherry brandy would do and I’m sure Clare could help there) and Sandy will hold a piece of wood between your teeth. I’m sure Mary would love to be recovery nurse!

I can get my hands on scrubs, scalpels, gloves, disinfectant...all the necessaries.
When would you like us to book you in?
Suddenly I'm feeling so much better.
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Old 09-01-2019, 06:23 PM   #116
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Suddenly I'm feeling so much better.
Spoilsport!
Most people wouldn’t turn their noses up at private medical care.
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Old 09-01-2019, 07:14 PM   #117
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Probably got a bicycle tyre pump somewhere.
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Old 09-01-2019, 07:20 PM   #118
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Probably got a bicycle tyre pump somewhere.
And where the heck are you thinking of using that.
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Old 09-01-2019, 07:25 PM   #119
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And where the heck are you thinking of using that.
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Old 10-01-2019, 09:38 AM   #120
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And where the heck are you thinking of using that.
Gallbladder surgery is often done by keyhole now, and they have to blow your tummy up with gas, so they can see properly, don’t laugh , it’s true !

So if we are doing it, a bicycle pump would be necessary
The side effects of this speaks for itself !
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