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Old 15-03-2020, 10:39 AM   #641
emma_mcraf
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They are useless when it comes to dietary requirements. When I’ve been in I take my own GF bread. When I gave birth to my youngest I was so glad not to have to stay in and need much food as all they could rustle up was a bowl of plain cottage cheese!
Hope you give them a right old earache!
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Old 18-03-2020, 08:23 PM   #642
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How are you, Gordon? Still on the IV antibiotics?
Hope you’re recovering well and there’s been no further issues.
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Testudo Hermanni 5.12.2:Theo, Tamara, Tabitha, Harriet, Isabelle, Clara, Oscar, Hugo, Oliver, Florence, Arabella, Esmé, Aurelia, Felicia, Claudia, Atticus, Celestia, Amaris, Tristan and Clementine
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Old 18-03-2020, 08:55 PM   #643
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How are you, Gordon? Still on the IV antibiotics?
Hope you’re recovering well and there’s been no further issues.
No more antibiotics at the moment not even orally so that's good.
I have been very naughty today and have been patching up my tort pens and making them even bigger..
My consultant said he would see me in eight weeks time to see how things are.......silly man...
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Old 18-03-2020, 09:08 PM   #644
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So an update on my late father is so far we are on a scaled down service and no wake afterwards which is a good thing as a lot of people who would attend will be old probably older than Mary
Even the cremation could be cancelled yet we will have to see.
The cleric did say she could do something over the internet but I'm sure half of the older family and friends dont even have a computer so that wont work.
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Old 18-03-2020, 09:20 PM   #645
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So an update on my late father is so far we are on a scaled down service and no wake afterwards which is a good thing as a lot of people who would attend will be old probably older than Mary
Even the cremation could be cancelled yet we will have to see.
The cleric did say she could do something over the internet but I'm sure half of the older family and friends dont even have a computer so that wont work.
Hubby is a funeral director so if you have any questions, fire away!
Here, the crematorium is limiting funerals to 10 mourners. It has been recommended families follow the hearse in their own vehicles rather than using the funeral cars which, if a limousine, would carry seven mourners plus the chauffeur. The cemetery chapel has closed altogether and many ministers and celebrants are isolating.
Due to what might be coming, there was a meeting yesterday and so there are recommendations from the government in order to protect mourners, funeral directors and their staff, crematorium staff, etc.

Yes, the Wesley system is excellent. Any music you want can usually be found on it. They also do a weblink to the funeral so the family can give a password and link to anyone who wished to be part of it, but not actually be able to attend. But a computer is necessary and so maybe not much use to the elderly.

It is probably going to be recommended in the near future to have no attendances at funerals and instead to organise a celebration of life/memorial service at a later date, when larger groups are able to socialise again.

Hope arrangements go to plan. Glad that you’re feeling okay health wise. Don’t go doing too much though!
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Testudo Hermanni 5.12.2:Theo, Tamara, Tabitha, Harriet, Isabelle, Clara, Oscar, Hugo, Oliver, Florence, Arabella, Esmé, Aurelia, Felicia, Claudia, Atticus, Celestia, Amaris, Tristan and Clementine
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Old 18-03-2020, 09:29 PM   #646
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Hubby is a funeral director so if you have any questions, fire away!
Here, the crematorium is limiting funerals to 10 mourners. It has been recommended families follow the hearse in their own vehicles rather than using the funeral cars which, if a limousine, would carry seven mourners plus the chauffeur. The cemetery chapel has closed altogether and many ministers and celebrants are isolating.
Due to what might be coming, there was a meeting yesterday and so there are recommendations from the government in order to protect mourners, funeral directors and their staff, crematorium staff, etc.

Yes, the Wesley system is excellent. Any music you want can usually be found on it. They also do a weblink to the funeral so the family can give a password and link to anyone who wished to be part of it, but not actually be able to attend. But a computer is necessary and so maybe not much use to the elderly.

It is probably going to be recommended in the near future to have no attendances at funerals and instead to organise a celebration of life/memorial service at a later date, when larger groups are able to socialise again.

Hope arrangements go to plan. Glad that you’re feeling okay health wise. Don’t go doing too much though!
Thanks Emma I knew I could rely on you due to knowing your husband's line of work.
I think you have answered my questions at the moment the only thing I'm not sure I want to to is have a wake later down the line and drag all the emotions up again as with all I had going on I'm over emotional
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Old 18-03-2020, 11:27 PM   #647
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So an update on my late father is so far we are on a scaled down service and no wake afterwards which is a good thing as a lot of people who would attend will be old probably older than Mary
Even the cremation could be cancelled yet we will have to see.
The cleric did say she could do something over the internet but I'm sure half of the older family and friends dont even have a computer so that wont work.
Thanks Gordon and I thought you were my friend! Have to self isolate now due to our age so a visit will have to wait. Have at last managed to buy our new forever home so are just having to rush to move in case stricter restrictions are brought in! Have done well as decided to move to a 3 bedroom bungalow in a smaller garden in either Somerset and Devon and have ended up buying a 2 bedroom house with a 1 acre paddock about 500 yards from where we moved from last year! At least there are a few weeds around but have lots of lettuce seeds to plant now. xx
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Old 18-03-2020, 11:31 PM   #648
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Thanks Emma I knew I could rely on you due to knowing your husband's line of work.
I think you have answered my questions at the moment the only thing I'm not sure I want to to is have a wake later down the line and drag all the emotions up again as with all I had going on I'm over emotional
I think a celebration of life can be something very uplifting. Often it can be at a time when people aren’t in such a deep sense of grief and are beginning to remember the better times, rather than the loss and the illness or accident, etc., they were taken by.
Do you remember Wendy who used to be on the forum? We’re still in touch and she lost her dad to dementia. They managed to organise the most fantastic send off for him which was really personal and honoured his time in the merchant navy. He had dementia also and so they did up a table of nice memories - his old merchant navy book, forget-me-nots, which I think she said was the flower for dementia, photos, little things that made people laugh, etc.
They saw family that hadn’t got together in years, had other family from abroad join them via FaceTime and actually found they had plenty of good memories and funny stories to share. The photo she sent me of them all was lovely and they were laughing and celebrating the life he had led.

You’re bound to be emotional now because you’ve had such a time of it and of course there are so many levels of grief to go through - sadness, guilt, anger, etc.
But maybe going through old photos and making notes of happy childhood memories and things that have happened throughout the years will be cathartic and help to accept his loss. It doesn’t have to be formal at all. Whatever you think he would have liked.
I think these memorials bring a mix of emotions but only tinged with a degree of sadness knowing that he’s reunited with his loved ones (depending on your beliefs) and I think they’re often preferable to a funeral where people feel they ought to be sombre.
But I’m sure it’s a decision your family will make together. Depending on when you’re planning to do it, it’s possible you can have a small funeral now if that’s what you’d prefer. You can take your time deciding what to do with his ashes. Perhaps he knew where he wanted them, but they can be interred, scattered somewhere special or even made into so many things. There are still many people who keep them at home.
It’s whatever works best for you.

I think the options will be greatly limited in a few short weeks, possibly even to the point where worst case scenario would be no option of funerals at all but mass cremations. Most cemeteries have limited space now.

I am sure you’ll find the right thing to do for you all and something that your dad would have liked.
Be gentle with yourself. Feel free to email if you want to know anything else. xxx
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Old 24-03-2020, 07:55 PM   #649
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Well my Dads funeral is still going to happen but behind closed doors with none of us allowed now. My sister is going to go and get some pictures of him arriving but that's it when he is taken in the doors will be closed.
There will be no flowers apart from something that the funeral company will put on just to make it look nice.
I'm in a way not at all surprised and in a way glad as I have been told I cant go out in the next 12 weeks via my doctor's as I'm very vulnerable.
I think when this is all over we will do something to remember him by.
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Old 24-03-2020, 08:05 PM   #650
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I’m really sorry, Gordon. There are really strict rules and regulations and they vary between crematoria.
I am glad that you are having to socially isolate and therefore you don’t have to feel bad about not going; the government has put in measures which made that decision for you.
It is hard, I know. My husband is finding it difficult not being able to give the care and support he has done for so many years to families in need. Even the funeral staff have to remain 2m apart and so he’s taken to driving the hearse himself and meeting the bearers there. He is trying to continue with as much dignity as possible, paying respect to the deceased in the same way as he usually would. I am sure the firm you are using will be doing exactly the same.

Definitely plan something for when things return to normal and gatherings can be held again.
Funeral zone, now renamed Funeral Guide, is an online website used by many funeral directors. Hubby was their advisor in the setting up of the business quite a few years ago.

They have online obituaries and people can pay their respects by leaving messages, lighting a virtual candle, posting photos and memories, etc.
This might be a nice way for your family and friends to feel they’ve marked the funeral in some way up until you can have a nice memorial for your dad. x
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Testudo Hermanni 5.12.2:Theo, Tamara, Tabitha, Harriet, Isabelle, Clara, Oscar, Hugo, Oliver, Florence, Arabella, Esmé, Aurelia, Felicia, Claudia, Atticus, Celestia, Amaris, Tristan and Clementine
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