River Tours

well im laughing

[niamherrity]

You're all cracked in a nice way

graham that last one is very good you will lose you're rep for bad jokes

[Henry-flash]

LOL, niamh that has made me laugh more than anything else on this thread :P

Dont stop... i love em

[tamsintd]

sorry, this is a blonde joke, kind of...........

Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

[polo]

Situational Awareness Scenario


You are driving in a car at a constant speed.

On your left side is a deep valley and on your right side is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you.

In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it.

Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level.

Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also travelling at the same speed as you.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation.

,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,

Get off the children's "Merry-Go-Round"; you're pi??ed.

[polo]

Blonde LOGIC


Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench
talking........ and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see
Florida...?????"


CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it
died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, "What's the story?"

He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"


SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely
if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to
show it to you!"



AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that
her body hurt wherever she touched it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed,
then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee
and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she
touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."



KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing
lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his
bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"



IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She
rolled the dice and she landed on Science &Nature. Her question was, "If
you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"



FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,
and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that
one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"


SORRY !!!! for the blonde jokes !!

[Henry-flash]

Originally Posted by polo

Situational Awareness Scenario


You are driving in a car at a constant speed.

On your left side is a deep valley and on your right side is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you.

In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it.

Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level.

Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also travelling at the same speed as you.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation.

,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,

Get off the children's "Merry-Go-Round"; you're pi??ed.

ROFL, I don't know why, but this one has really made me laugh

i like that one probably because i understand it

[tamsintd]

some more jokes for you....

What did God say after creating man?
I must be able to do better than this.

What did God say after creating Eve?
"Practice makes perfect."

Why are there no Olympic champions in Mexico?
Because any Mexican who can jump, run or swim is already in the USA.

and some blonde ones too.....(sorry to all you blondes )

What is it when a blonde blows into another blondes ear?
Data transfer.

Why do blondes smile when they see lightning?
They think their picture is being taken.

Why did the blonde ask her friends to save their burned-out light bulbs?
She needed them for the darkroom she was building.

What have you got when you line up ten blondes ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.

How did the blonde break her arm raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree.