Pushy Coach

[Suze65]

Originally Posted by emma_mcraf

That's what I probably would have said if I'd phoned him yesterday!!



I'm not sure, other than the chairman of the club and they don't want to go upsetting their pro as he brings in money from the lessons and running the pro shop. I will make sure he knows I'm not happy and I'm writing down any complaints I hear about. Problem is, the kids like playing there and having their lessons and I don't want him making life difficult for them.
Luckily the little sod who he told to put the ball in his mouth refused, but the whole thing was done to humiliate him in front of the other kids. The pro even pointed out loudly that the boy's flies were undone, again to humiliate him. I agree that kids that don't listen or pay attention should be corrected but not like that!! If it had have been my kid, the pro would have found me forcing a ball into his mouth!!!




I'm on the case! I'd rather pay for a 4:1 lesson for just the kids and the assistant pro, but hubby isn't as keen.
He just wants to tell the pro next week that it's lessons and no more and carry on as we are, but when I get the bit between my teeth, I can't let go and I want to make my point.

A lot of my anxiety harps back to when my second son was eight and he was pushed off the rugby pitch by his drunken coach. All hell let loose for a number of months, the rugby club tried burying the whole thing under the carpet as the coach didn't have a valid CRB and shouldn't have been coaching, plus he was an alcoholic and put a LOT of money behind the bar. My husband had attended that club since he was a child, his dad was the chairman until he died and we were very let down by them. We had no choice but to get the RFU to investigate. It all came to a climax when I brought the incident up in front of 200 parents at the AGM and was told it wasn't the place to do so. Most of those parents had no idea what had happened and the club didn't want them knowing either. My shouting match with the chairman led to my ban from the club. It wasn't an issue - the boys weren't going back for another season anyway.
I just seem to always find myself in these situations......

Did the RFU do anything? Because your not allowed or coach or teach without a CRB, I'm sure it must be breaking the law. Things like that make my blood boil.
I would have been standing right next to you Emma, saying go girl go.
This golf club thing all sounds bang out of order, he shouldn't be coaching children. In fact my blood is boiling on your behalf

[emma_mcraf]

Originally Posted by mediterraneansuze

Did the RFU do anything? Because your not allowed or coach or teach without a CRB, I'm sure it must be breaking the law. Things like that make my blood boil.
I would have been standing right next to you Emma, saying go girl go.
This golf club thing all sounds bang out of order, he shouldn't be coaching children. In fact my blood is boiling on your behalf

The RFU had concerns about the club at the time. The coach got away with it because he immediately stepped down from coaching, so they had no jurisdiction over him. The club thought that was the end of the matter but I was angry because the child protection officer on the committee didn't know what to do and I had to find out myself from the RFU and then tell her! It all got very messy and nasty and I even had a call from the then treasurer who tried blackmailing me into dropping my complaint by saying the coach was in a depression and could do something silly. The treasurer then accused me of calling him!! I'd like to point out that he was found out about 18 months later to be swindling the club out of money and not paying the electric bill. He got his comeuppance in the end, but we had already left by then.
To this day I regret not calling in the police and turning it into an assault matter. A solicitor friend of ours said we'd have a case because the coach was drunk, had no CRB, there were plenty of witnesses and he forcefully pushed my son off the pitch. He hadn't even done anything wrong. The entire game was a shambles because the coach was drunk. I was very close to hitting the coach that day and even now I wished I had. I'd have happily stood in the magistrates court for assault just for the self-satisfaction of hitting him.
I'm not a violent person; I'm just uber-protective of my kiddoes. That was quite a few years ago now but it's all still very raw.

Thanks for your support Suze. x

[Pussygalore]

Don't you have to join the club in order to play on a course or can you just pay for the day, you can tell I don't play golf

[emma_mcraf]

Originally Posted by Pussygalore

Don't you have to join the club in order to play on a course or can you just pay for the day, you can tell I don't play golf

You can just pay green fees for the game at most golf clubs, for either 9 or 18 holes. My husband and his golf buddy play at a variety of clubs between Devon and Cornwall about once every 6 weeks. He also plays with my eldest son a few times a year when clubs have Groupon deals.
You can of course have a membership to a club which allows you play whenever you like and, I think, how often you like, but these are expensive. Maybe when my husband retires he'd consider having a membership so he could go a couple of times a week, but I still think he'd prefer the variety of playing at other clubs and not tie himself down with a membership.
It's just a social thing for our family. No one wants to get into the competition and tournament side of things; just a fun round of golf followed by refreshment in the 19th.

[Pussygalore]

thanks you learn something everyday when we used to dingy sail we had to join if we wanted to sail at any of the various resovoirs or lakes as not many sold day tickets, and each water was 'owned' by a different club, the trouble with joining is that you would be expected to do so many days in the clubhouse etc which wasn't for us as we could only sail when hubby wasn't working. We didn't want to spend the few days that we could sail working behind the bar so we never joined any.

[emma_mcraf]

Originally Posted by Pussygalore

thanks you learn something everyday

No problem - I don't play golf either! Can't imagine anything worse than getting up at the crack of dawn to walk around loads of fields hitting a ball along the way, like my hubby seems to love doing!

[becciwales]

Originally Posted by emma_mcraf

No problem - I don't play golf either! Can't imagine anything worse than getting up at the crack of dawn to walk around loads of fields hitting a ball along the way, like my hubby seems to love doing!

me neither!!

Made a child put a dirty ball in his mouth? If that was my child he'd have a ball in his mouth alright, one of those that should be attached to him! Cheeky, naughty or not, that's not normal discipline from someone in a position of trust!

[emma_mcraf]

Just had another run-in with the golf pro!! Yesterday he aggressively insisted my daughter and another child her age climb into the golf buggy and stand up while he drove them a few yards down the fairway to allow some adult players to play through. He had a container of balls on the seat next to him and refused to remove them for the kids to sit down.
I'm fuming that he made these kids stand up and hold on for dear life in a moving buggy. He also started to move off before my daughter had both feet in. I'm pretty certain health and safety wouldn't allow this to happen and I've had a huge row with him. I have to say, it's been building for a while but now he's potentially endangered one of my kids, I've got real cause for complaint.
His immediate answer was to ask why I was phoning him about it now and why my 11 year old daughter hadn't told him she was unhappy about it and felt unsafe and scared. He literally said it was her fault for not complaining there and then. He's not the nicest of people - what makes him think an 11 year old is going to broach a complaint to him?!
She nearly fell out the buggy and her companion had to grab hold of her. I asked him what would have happened if she had sustained an injury and his answer was 'I've got public liability insurance up to £3 million!!!' Well jolly good for him!
To say it was a heated conversation is a an understatement. I've now demanded the health and safety policy and child protection policy and have told him he's left me no choice but to issue a formal complaint with the general manager.
I've also contacted the firm they use for their legislation for clarification on the situation and spoken to a few other clubs' golf professionals, all of whom have said it's common sense not to have standing passengers in a moving buggy and it goes against their club's rules and regulations.
As it happens, he was only moving them to allow two adult players to play through and my daughter and the other child only had to step to one side to let them play through, as the rules of golf etiquette state, and then they could have continued with their game. He even made them leave their golf bags behind and my daughter was most unhappy about leaving her pink bag and pink clubs!!

The man is a total bell-end! While I was at it I asked him about the previous incident when he tried making another child put a golf ball in his mouth. He instantly knew what I was referring to and said he knew the parents and explained the situation and they were fine. I wouldn't like to imagine what sort of parents they are then but it still doesn't make it alright that he humiliated a child in such a manner.

It's been a long time coming but I'm determined this man is going to be answerable for his behaviour. He's not the type to admit he was in the wrong and apologise so I think it's going to get interesting.....

My daughter's been told by us that if she feels he's asking her to do something inappropriate to just refuse and if necessary go and find her older brother on the course. I'm not sure we'll be using him much more. The other golf-pro there is great, doesn't have a huge ego and the kids all get on really well with him. I'm fed up of coming across egotistical *ickheads as coaches.

[Merlin M]

Emma that is shocking!! He might have liability insurance but that wont help him get a job if one of the kids had been injured! You do not put people at risk, most certainly not children!

[pagan queen]

Wow, that's so incredible. So his public insurance means he can risk and potentially damage a child for life does it, this man has no scruples and needs sacking.