Trouble with dad. - Page 2

emma_mcraf · 28-02-2015, 05:49 PM

Thanks Evie and Becci. It is difficult reasoning with elderly people. My dad hasn't got dementia yet but he does get very forgetful. If he did have dementia I'm sure decisions would be made a little more easily. He is very stubborn and cantankerous and needs full-time care following a serious fall. He is deteriorating very quickly now but I am very glad that his care is being decided by social services and he won't be allowed home until he's deemed safe and all care is in place for him. In many ways I hope that won't be possible as he'd be much safer in a care home permanently.
You both must have been through the mill too. x

becciwales · 28-02-2015, 06:08 PM

My gran doesn't have dementia but there is definitely no reasoning with her!

emma_mcraf · 28-02-2015, 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by becciwales

My gran doesn't have dementia but there is definitely no reasoning with her!

Oh dear! I reckon she and my dad would get along quite well...then again maybe they'd wind one another up the wrong way!

becciwales · 28-02-2015, 06:23 PM

We could just let them carry on!

pagan queen · 01-03-2015, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evie

Having experience with my Dad who lived with me for 3 years you can't reason with them as they have no concept of time or place

I had door bolts with star key put on every internal door and a dead lock on the front door - you can lock them and keep them and keep the key away from him

As long as he can't get out your Mum just needs to leave him sitting in the lounge - you can get a Motorola sense camera to monitor him

The thing is Wendy if your Mum is your Dads main carer and your Dad is unable to look after himself it will be up to her when she seeks help albeit a care home

Thank you Evie. I have tried telling my mum there is no reasoning with him but she still insists he's doing it to annoy her and there is nothing wrong with him as he can still remember to buy his tobacco and his TV magazine. She wont let social services in so wont have any help. She just wants dad to be taken away. I've told her he will have to have social services involved or there will be no help.
I am looking into getting some locks fitted to the doors so he can be safe.

suttysue · 04-03-2015, 09:57 AM

Oh gosh I am sorry you and your parents are having to live with this problem!
I went through this with my Dad a few years back, sadly I had already lost Mum, which didn't help as he was an absolute nightmare to look after, so stubborn, but sadly lost in a cloud of bereavement and total fear of his own demise.
I found the best thing to happen was his allocated Social Worker was fantastic helping Dad, liaising with care homes the hospital and guiding me through what turned out to be 8 weeks of misery for both Dad and myself. At that point ha went to sleep and out of his living hell.
Make sure your SOCIAL WORKER IS ON YOUR SIDE if not ask to change to another one.
Thinking of you and your parents
sue

28-02-2015, 05:49 PM	#11
emma_mcraf Senior Member Adult Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Devon Posts: 11,365	Thanks Evie and Becci. It is difficult reasoning with elderly people. My dad hasn't got dementia yet but he does get very forgetful. If he did have dementia I'm sure decisions would be made a little more easily. He is very stubborn and cantankerous and needs full-time care following a serious fall. He is deteriorating very quickly now but I am very glad that his care is being decided by social services and he won't be allowed home until he's deemed safe and all care is in place for him. In many ways I hope that won't be possible as he'd be much safer in a care home permanently. You both must have been through the mill too. x __________________ Emma Testudo Hermanni 5.12.2:Theo, Tamara, Tabitha, Harriet, Isabelle, Clara, Oscar, Hugo, Oliver, Florence, Arabella, Esmé, Aurelia, Felicia, Claudia, Atticus, Celestia, Amaris, Tristan and Clementine Budgies: Jasper, Ivo, Otis, Henry, Louie and Luca Doggies: 1.1.0 Chester and Lottie

28-02-2015, 06:08 PM	#12
becciwales Senior Member Adult Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: South Wales Posts: 3,438	My gran doesn't have dementia but there is definitely no reasoning with her! __________________ Becci 1:2:0 Testudo Hermanni Boettgeri - Darwin, Galileo, and Einstein. Archimedes (THB) RIP June, 2018

28-02-2015, 06:23 PM	#14
becciwales Senior Member Adult Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: South Wales Posts: 3,438	We could just let them carry on! __________________ Becci 1:2:0 Testudo Hermanni Boettgeri - Darwin, Galileo, and Einstein. Archimedes (THB) RIP June, 2018

04-03-2015, 09:57 AM	#16
suttysue Senior Member Sub Adult Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: UK / Eng / Yorkshire Posts: 1,483	Oh gosh I am sorry you and your parents are having to live with this problem! I went through this with my Dad a few years back, sadly I had already lost Mum, which didn't help as he was an absolute nightmare to look after, so stubborn, but sadly lost in a cloud of bereavement and total fear of his own demise. I found the best thing to happen was his allocated Social Worker was fantastic helping Dad, liaising with care homes the hospital and guiding me through what turned out to be 8 weeks of misery for both Dad and myself. At that point ha went to sleep and out of his living hell. Make sure your SOCIAL WORKER IS ON YOUR SIDE if not ask to change to another one. Thinking of you and your parents sue

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