18 sounds like a christmas news report..
MAN IN RED SUIT BATTERS ELF
December 25th
North Pole police were last night hunting
a man in a red suit after an elf was found battered
beside a pile of reindeer shi*e.
The suspect is described as overweight, sporting
a white beard..possibly fake.. was wearing a
very distinctive red suit with white trimmings
and had a huge sack
Police are warning people not to approach this
man and not to try to flush him out with mince
pies or cups of cocoa