Hi Mark
I'm so so sorry to read this and also sorry I haven't responded when you asked for help but having the odd little issue myself to deal with.
Unfortunately tortoises are very good at hiding illness and usually unless it's an obvious one like runny nose by the time its noticed and it's no fault of the keeper it is often to late so dont feel bad and think it was something you did or didn't do unfortunately it just happens.
But going forward dont give in and I think after the great loss you and your family are going through it would be good to pick yourself up and get a replacement as to which when mine are up and egg laying I would be happy to gift you one if you feel it's what you want so let me know and I would be only to happy to do this.
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