A Cashier's Rant
 

Thought this was funny :D

As a cashier in a grocery store, I have a few things to say to my darling customers.


- If I'm holding my hand out for change, do not put it on the counter, you t**t.

- Parents: Under no circumstances will you allow your crotch-spawn to play tag, run around shrieking, scan items, poke me, get behind my counter, rip decorations down, scream and wail for 40 minutes or climb all over displays in my grocery store.

Your sproglets are not "Omg, so cute. Neko kawaii. ^_^". They are irritating little demons, who disturb the staff and the other customers. If your child cannot behave themselves in public, leave them at home.

- This grocery store does not have those little plastic things used to divide groceries. I wish we did, but we don't. In light of this, please do not mix your groceries with someone else's, then get mad at me when I ring an item or two up on their bill. Either wait a f****** minute before putting your groceries on the damn counter, or tell me where your order starts and the other person's ends. Believe it or not, I'm not psychic.

- Yes, the item won't scan. No, it's not free. Please curl up and die.

- If there is no one at the cash, chances are you aren't going to be served. Stacking your groceries on the counter will not make a cashier materialize. Also, do not glance at the closed sign, then walk around it, plop your groceries on my counter and get huffy when I explain to you that I'm being taken off and I can't help you. Come on, I have a bag slung over my shoulder and there's a manager punching stuff into the cash, getting my report out. Are you that f****** dense/rude?

- Get the f****** olives weighed at the deli. There's two HUGE signs on the olive cart that says to do so. Unless you're a) FIVE or b) illiterate, you have NO EXCUSE. You're wasting my time, your time, and the time of the poor produce guy/bag boy that has to run back to the deli and weigh your stuff.

- Stop unloading ungodly amounts of change on me, I'm not a bank and there's a HUGE line of people behind you. I don't have the time to count out your $16 in dimes (yes, this actually happened).

- Stop flirting with me. It's nasty, seeing as I'm a minor and you're a geriatric old fart.

- My store provides a "Kid's Zone". This consists of a huge TV screen that plays Veggie Tales (which is so wrong, seeing as it's blatant religious propaganda...) for your sprog's enjoyment. Our "Kid's Zone" is currently out of order. There is a nice sign up, and a cart blocking the entrance. Therefore, do NOT push it aside and let your kids run around wrecking stuff while you wander off. Douche.

- Do not poo in my store. On the floor. By the front door.

- Do NOT tell me how to do my job. I work here, you don't. Therefore, shut the f*** up.

- I may be a cashier working for just barely above minimum wage, but I am not the scum on the bottom of your shoe. Chances are, I'm much more intelligent than you. If I didn't need the money for university, I wouldn't be here.

- The appropriate answer to "Hi! How are you today?" is not:
1. *grunt*
2. *silence*
3. *glare of doom*
4. *checking me out*
5. Terrible!

I really don't care how you are today. Just say "I'm fine, how are you?". That's all that's required. Really. I promise.

- Don't be anal about the way I bag your groceries. I'm not squishing anything, I swear.

- When I lean over to look for a code don't go "Those are apples". No s*** they're apples. Duuuuuh.

- Don't identify each item in a patronizing manner when loading your stuff on my counter. I know what the stuff is, I ring it in a billion times a day.

- When I hold my hand out for a pack of sausages I know you have in your hand, don't yank it away then giggle when I go for it again. You're not funny, you're a full grown man! Augh!

- Stop paying for tiny orders with $100 bills! Especially when I start my shift. Unless you want the change in fives and coins, don't do it!

Danny

Good grief an even longer post than the last.....:roll:xx

But there are lots of spaces Rach :razz:

Danny

Hehe and its funny!

That was funny Danny, I would hate to be a cashier at a large supermarket lol x

That one was too long for me

I like that one and can imagine what a nightmare of a job it must be. The noise and bustle of being a cashier would do my head in!

I did my stint in Sketchley dry cleaners. It was a hell job with people demanding their clothes back without a ticket and expecting us to remember them and know what their clothes looked like. It would take us a while to track down their order by their name but they just couldn't wait.

I worked on the checkouts in Asda .... And this is so true. Brought back all the memories lol

I always used to do cashier work and to be honest loved the work including the contact with people which I miss now, mostly small village shops or garages and the people especially the elderly loved a chat. I think the shop staff are often the only people they sometimes see, the children could be a nightmare especially those with parents that can't seem to tell them of or control them, they'd be touching everything even tasting things and mum would think it ok and get angry if I said anything. I didn't like it when it was quite so much prefered the busy days, I once worked for Fads in Fleet and it was so quite through the week I never knew how the place survived, one day after cashing up we'd took £20 the whole day, I had more float than takings.:-)